Brasil Musings

Some random takeaways from the Brasil portion of my trip attached.

1. Why does the country have a reputation for being corrupt but you can’t buy your way out of a random alcohol stop? Why can you run as many red lights as you want and you won’t get stopped but you have one drink of alcohol and you are fined $1000 and your license is suspended? I guess it is safest to keep all drinkers off the street, but I also wonder why the law is applied with such randomness.

2. The characters you meet while traveling always have interesting stories, but a few are worth highlighting:

- Character exhibit #1: In Rio, Dana, KJ and I went to eat at a local diner and were debating sharing some local cuisine. We asked the waiter who then solicited the language skills of an older English white male (maybe in his 50s). The English man proceeds to recommend dishes and then buys us a round of caipirinis. So we chat for a bit and he unloads on us that he used to live in south Brasil and it was there that he married a 22-year old local prostitute in the hopes of saving her from her desolate lifestyle. But, as our boy Biggie Smalls once said, “You can’t turn a ho into a housewife.” So after he battled pimps (had his face cut up and his fingers crushed), found out his wife was still “working” while he was setting up his businesses and dealt with other inconveniences of being married to a whore, he decided to flee the state…and country, determined to never come back. But his oil business put him back in Rio and lo and behold he found true love (this time not with a prostitute but with a woman who he endearingly refers to as “pit bull”) and has made Rio his home. He had racked up over a 250 Reia bill at the restaurant and apparently does it often. Beat that story!

- In a close second is Character exhibit #2: Mark, the home owner and rental guru of Floripa hailing from San Diego. You see, Mark used to own nightclubs in LA…and according to him did the drug Extacy daily for 3 years straight. If you wonder if X has any long-term effects, he might be a good study point (only we didn’t know what he was like beforehand). First of all we tried to negotiate the price of the villa on the phone before we went and he just said, “Come on over and see the place. We’ll work it out.” Well, we ended up negotiating and agreeing to a price on the phone. Then we met him at the local gas station in Lagoa and he just kind of starts yelling random words. He asked us “Did you guys the Olympics game? SWOOSH! AMAZING!” Then he just moves along the conversation, like it’s natural, to ask, “Do you know how much they charge for a chicken here? FUCKIN EXPENSIVE! Eight dollars for a chicken. And the gas? It’s like $4 a gallon. This isn’t SAUDI ARABIA! They have gas in their backyard.” He goes on to give us a tour of his place and says something like “You guys are going to have a blast here. ORGIES! If there isn’t some serious partying I’m going to be DISAPPOINTED.” He basically tried to hang out with us for the majority of the trip, stopping by the house at random intervals. In the end, he was just a lonely washed up 50-year old living in Brasil with plenty of prostitutes in his black book.

3. Brazilians never heard of even temporary infrastructure. I mean, you know Carnaval is going to happen, you know many people are going to visit, you know those people are going to celebrate by drinking, and you should therefore know that drinking excessive amounts of liquid produces two very likely results: (1) makes one urinate; and (2) produces a lot of empty cans, bottles and cups. But, nobody has the wherewithal to put up some temporary trash containers and port-a-potties? After a few hours of carnival every single small street/alley smelled like piss and had currents of water running down the sidewalk gutters which were filled with empties. According to locals, however, it is more environmentally friendly to throw your empty beer cans on the street since a poor person will pick them up and return them for money.

4. Airline booking on-line. Most Brazilian airlines state the rates of their flights on their websites, but then when you go to book them they ask you for the local equivalent of a SSN, which of course a tourist does not have. So then you call the number listed on the website, but they say they will only take a Brasilian credit card too. So do the airlines here just NOT want to sell tickets to foreigners? Wouldn’t that just open up a whole new market? You would think…And while I'm at it, the airlines here are even worse than the ones in the States for customer service. Everything took hours to do and was never done correctly the first time. Ahhh, the frustrations of traveling.

5. Something else you would think: In the Rio de Janeiro international departure terminals you would expect to have a sit-down restaurant or even a bar. The SINGLE only option for hot food is a tiny bar upstairs that offers the following choices: hamburger, cheeseburger, ham & cheese sandwich, French fries. Yup, that’s about it. And, for even more of twist…the burger costs 5.50 Reias but for a burger + fries you are looking at 12 Reias. Who did the pricing for that restaurant? Or is the burger really that bad/fries that good? Let’s just say they both were awful (add the jelly-like ketchup to the list while we’re at it). I sure hope that at some point the airport learns that there exists a completely trapped market of travelers for food/drinks while waiting over 2 hours for an international flight.

6. Why are the napkins in this country so thin and useless? Almost all restaurants have paper thin napkins that essentially spread grease because they don’t absorb any of it. When you finally find a normal napkin you are soooo grateful.

7. Torta, as most Mexicans would think, is not a sandwich. We all ordered lunch one day and Oscar wanted a sandwich so ordered the torta. When he asked her for a recommendation of a torta the girl said which one and he ordered it despite understanding that she mentioned something about chocolate. Adrian and I cracked up when she brought him a chocolate pie. It was good, but definitely not the “torta” he expected!

Overall, Brasil has such a great culture where people are so free and balance life/work/fun well. I truly enjoyed my adventures in Brasil and met some really cool people along the way.

And the travels continue...on to Argentina!!